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It self-destructs
Self-destructing album, gig. Self-destructing small, big. Self-destructing letter, call. Self-destructing summer,fall. Self-destructing finished, task. Self-destructing answer, ask. Self-destructing more, less. Self-destructing checkers, chess.
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It started by starting
What to do if there is nothing? What the hell do we do? Let’s just eat. Let’s just sit. There is nothing, right. There is nothing right. Let’s do nothing, let’s do. No one will remember. If nothing ever happened, nothing ever will. I think something just showed up, it started by starting. What do…
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Bad Marketing Campaigns #1
Feel like you’re too in the loop? Fed up of productive meetings where all necessary parties are informed? Ready to take the next step and blame people for not watching your training videos? You should use Loom. The software that helps keep you frustrated and your work relationships strained! Try not knowing. Try Loom.
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Jury Radio
I cannot listen to the radio. Maybe it’s because Martin Kemp from Spandau Ballet and Eastenders shunned me at the ice rink when I was a kid. That’s another story. Anyway, the radio drives me mad. I do not blame the DJs, it’s an impossible gig! You cannot be interesting every day from 6am to…
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Something is velcro
My legs were bound, I made a hop-ker-shuffle closer and closer to the edge. My toes were set over the side of one of the highest bridges in the world. I would fall for five seconds. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, four Mississippi, five. Wrapped around my shins were these big pads to make…
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A poem about eczema
Are you serious? Who cares about your eczema? So what if it’s hot? So what if it’s itchy? No one cares. Quite right. What would even make this a poem? Ask me about it to my face. Maybe a five-year-old will reply. He usually does. Leave it alone, you’ll only make it worse.
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More paper please
You sit on a stool in the corner of the sports hall and try not to fall asleep. That’s the job of an A-Level exam invigilator. I had a brief stint during my masters where I was a sort of college counsellor / cheermeister for some students who were reportedly similar to how I had…