‘Kathy’s Song’ by Simon & Garfunkel. But it has to be the Live in St Louis, MO – November 1969 version.

In December 2015 Rachel and I were young and in love. I used to set alarms for 3am so I could talk to her as her day was finishing because otherwise I would have to wait until mid-afternoon to talk to her. Crazy. Here’s a couple of the lines from the song that sum up how I’d feel when we were apart from East to West.

“My mind’s distracted and diffused,
my thoughts are many miles away.
They lie with you when you are asleep,
and kiss you when you start your day.”

Each line is perfect to me. It might be too on the nose for some but that was how I felt.

Distracted and diffused, amazing. My thoughts being far away, wonderful. That’s why I rang at 3am, to be with her. Otherwise it was just most the day with my thoughts with her as she slept. I’m not as present now as I should be.

I have any depth of affection and emotional breadth because of my Dad. I learnt devotion from him, manifested in a thousand short drives taking my Mum to and from work. One of the foundational memories I have of my Dad growing up was him being present with my Mum, my sisters and I. A person can live a good life if they have the moral fortitude and strength of character to act on their responsibilities and rise to their commitments. A man can live a great life if they develop deep devotion.

My Dad has endured much I think. I’m not sure he could have stood under it if he was merely a man of commitments. He is a man of great care, loyalty and overwhelming love stemming from the grace he knows he himself has been extended.

When we first got married there was the possibility because of visas that we might need to be in different countries for a period of time. My Mum strongly petitioned us to do whatever we needed to do to remain close together since we were now one.

Kathy was pictured on Paul Simon’s first record – ‘The Paul Simon Song Book’. On all accounts she seemed to be his first love, but she opted to remain in England as his fame increased, where he eventually wrote the song for her. But there was no commitment in the song, certainly no devotion. Things ended soon after she returned home. Paul Simon has been married three times.

How can love be sustained when ones thoughts merely lie with another while they sleep. It’s poetic nonsense. 

I am so fortunate my thoughts are here with me.