A huge scrape against the right hand curb. The final straw in a litany of stupid mistakes.
“Fuuuuu-!” I cry. Later I will cry.

The hire car was a good deal, but then I got a little upsold. First mistake. I drove the hour to the accommodation in France, very well on the opposite side of the road. But then I realised the worst of it. I’d left my passport on the desk of the rental car company. We called them, twice. No answer. We drove back. An hour later I’m asking the world’s least helpful man about my passport. No sign of it. I hurried back to the car. The embarrassment smacked me between the eyes when I found it, fallen under the drivers car seat! Wasted time and money on the toll road! Furious I drove back until, 5 minutes from the house - I scratched the alloys on the right hand curb. I checked our insurance, which covered for it - but I’ll still be paying £250 excess. I watched our money as it flushed down the drain.

I went to the room. The embarrassment of the whole thing was overwhelming. But my wife as always was very kind. I thought how delicate my life is. I had this moment where I realised how completely non-stoic I am. My horrible broth of emotional chaos right there, bubbling over.

So when we strolled to the lake - in this beautiful place - I finally opened my Bible. I’ve not been looking in there a lot recently. I wanted comfort. Fortunately I never get it. At least not at first. My faith is made clear when I open the Bible and find something almost unbearably challenging to read, yet completely true.

I opened and went to Isaiah 42, found myself around verses 19 and 20. Here’s what it says, it’s a prophecy at the time to the nation of Israel but as it does, it rang true for me also.

“Who is blind like the one in covenant with me, blind like the servant of the Lord?
You have seen many things, but you pay no attention;
your ears are open, but you do not listen.”

I took that and repeated it over to myself the remainder of the day. The next chapter lightens. It has a host of famous lines about not being afraid because God is with you. A lot of classics. But I found my encouragement in the verses above.

Who is blind like the one in covenant. Unbearably true. You have seen many things, but you pay no attention. Also, very true.

So I thanked my God for speaking to me. Remembered that when I pay the slightest attention, that he is ever-attentive to me. I was frustrated about the car. But grateful that one of my favourite verses always prove true in Romans 8:28 - how “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

Starting a holiday with a firm reminder of, yes, a propensity to blindness. But moreso, of the nature of the Christian believers life when “hidden with Christ in God”. That it is a life of covenant. Open eyes, open ears. These are the spiritual gift to the one that accepts the covenant relationship bought by Jesus’ death and resurrection. But attention - that remains a choice for me.