14

“Nope,” Calum replied, “I’ve never seen any of them before.”

“Nor I, lad,” said Mr Armitage, flicking once more through the white journal of wildflowers. He had no way to account for these flowers but one. But he wasn’t yet ready to voice that possibility, especially not after yesterday. Since these flowers were not known to anybody. No book, no individual he had consulted, then they had not been found by Ella, but created by her.

Just then, Calum continued - “Did she make them, then?”

Mr Armitage laughed heartily at the sensibility of a child’s reason. How innocently they profess impossible truths.

“Well, yes, I believe she did - but how - I couldn’t tell you”.

Calum had been in the bathroom before Conor had entered Ella’s river, but he had been gradually coming to terms with the fact that their sister was not subject to the same constraints he was. It was not just in the immediate aftermath of his father's brutal murder, for a long time, he’d felt she was growing in his mind. The sea-snake the size of the centre of the earth, had not been a conjuring, but a revelation.

“She’s not like us, Mr Armitage,” he said.

“I know, lad.”

“No, I mean, she-”

“I know.” Mr Armitage continued. His finger - as big as the page - gently stroked a blue and yellow wildflower with a deep red centre. For the first time in years, he felt like he was in the room, with Calum, ready to listen to whatever he had to say. “Sorry, lad, go on - what do you mean?”

Calum looked into his eyes and saw that he was finally there. He was entirely attuned to him at that moment. It sent a shock of pain from his throat down to his stomach as the openness of his face made him think of his brother. He was about to tell Mr Armitage what he’d come to believe about Ella, without speaking through him to Conor. He hoped that he could be trusted.

“Go on,” smiled Mr Armitage.

Then Calum spoke.

“Well, you know what she’s been like. You know how she’s changed, right? I mean, I know she’s been to see you plenty. Well, she has spent a lot of time at home too this past year. Lay in bed for days at a time. Always saying she’s sick. She didn’t want to see any of us - even Conor - and she loves Conor.”

He was struggling to decide what to include and leave out. The presence of mind Mr Armitage was offering him seemed almost painful to the man. Calum went all over - told him the awful names she’d called their father, told him how she’d hurt him, scratched him and screamed for what seemed like days.

“She hated me, too, I think. I mean - the way she looked at me - almost hungry. It looked like she wanted to stick me with a fork or throw rocks at me.”

Calum was embarrassed then; she’d only hurt him once, and nothing like what she’d done to their father. He felt ashamed. And weak. He could see he was losing Mr Armitage.

“And, and, and. We, we went to Wales, and this thing happened. This horrible man, he spoke to her.”

Mr Armitage returned.

“We, we were camping on the hills above Bethesda. Middle of the night, I woke up. Conor and I were sharing a tent. I heard a voice outside. I opened the tent slightly and looked out to see Ella by the fire with this man I didn’t know. He was crouched down, pulling ashes from the fire and covering her feet with them. I knew Ella was frightened. She looked more like herself that night than I’d seen her all year. She was dead still. She looked like a girl again, while the man talked. It was so windy. But he said, “You can do what you like with the empties.” Then she reached out her hands to him, hugged him. And then, and then it was like, like he became water. Just water, and ran into her until it was just her by the fire. Alone. I never told anyone that. Not even Conor. Do you believe me? Do you?”

Mr Armitage nodded.

“She only ever wanted Conor, though, which was fine by me. I usually managed to avoid her, but one time she caught me without Conor around. She gripped my forearms - here and here - her fingers digging in under –”

Calum grabbed Mr Armitage’s arms, but the dimensions were all wrong. He raised his arms to show him - he had four marks from the deepest cuts.

“– digging under here, asking - sorry, telling - telling me that I was empty. Her grip was so tight, Mr Armitage, it was as though, as though - you were gripping me. I shouted and shouted until Conor and Dad came running. As soon as Conor appeared, she let go and ran off to her room. Conor helped with my arms, they both bruised badly, and there’s still some marks - see? Do you see it now, Mr Armitage? She isn’t like us. She’s the one without organs! Maybe if I’d said something sooner, I could have done something. I could have stopped her. Or you, if you’d listened! I’m sorry. It’s just - she isn’t human, she’s the one with no insides - no organs. I don’t know, God - Conor!”

The boy began to cry then, Mr Armitage moved his hands out across the table to his, then slowly rose instead and crouched down beside him. Calum stretched out his hands and wrapped them around his neck - “Please - please help me.”

Mr Armitage looked past the lad out at his field as he held the boy. He saw the three walking towards them, but the five fingers of his right hand flicked out and off Calum’s shoulder as he gestured to them to turn back, they obliged.

“I will, lad.”